Is the Wind really Gone?
by Avasinclair123
Summary: Picks up after Scarlett is back at Tara, six months later, what will happen when Rhett returns for his visit?
1. Chapter 1

"So he left you?" Suellen's voice was full of venom.

Scarlett was back at home, at Tara, after her separation from Rhett. She had tried to keep her situation quiet, but after hearing countless questions from her sister, it had finally all come out. Will, who had been sitting silently in observance, looked up sharply. If there was one thing he hated more than Scalawags and Carpetbaggers, it was a man who left his wife. Scarlett noticed the look in her brother-in-law's eyes.

"He's been hurting since Bonnie died, he took it harder than I did." she said, for some reason she still felt the need to defend her husband.

"'S no excuse." Will told her, "Anyhow, Scarlett, would you please look over the books. You know mah wife ain't too good at it."

Suellen glared at her husband, but Scarlett understood. One again Will was saving her from dealing with things she didn't want to deal with. Oh Will, he was a godsend to her family.

"What would Tara do without you Will?" Scarlett asked out loud.

"'Twould be fine Scarlett, if you had anything to do about it." Will said, waving off her compliment.

"But Suellen would be an old maid." Scarlett told him, ignoring the glare from her sister.

"Mah chile, afore you go lookin' through those der books, come on and take yer baff." Mammy's voice called through the house.

Scarlett smiled despite herself, Mammy was always worried about her well being. Even though she was old, Mammy would always take care of Scarlett until her dying day.

"Coming Mammy." she called, "Will I'll look through the books tonight after supper." she told her brother-in-law.

After undressing and undoing her hair, Scarlett sank into her bath. Mammy poured water on her raven colored hair and Scarlett closed her eyes. She was imaging a time when she was younger, when her mother would bathe her. Tears formed in her eyes when she thought of her mother. She remembered getting to Tara during the war. She expected a safe harbor, instead she found her family in a worse state than she was. During that time, she vowed to never go hungry again, a vow that she fought to keep. She married Frank Kennedy under Suellen's nose, then when he died, she married Rhett. Her heart constricted just thinking about Rhett. She wondered what he was doing at that moment, if he missed her.

Rhett was sitting in Belle Watling's parlor getting waited on by her girls. They knew not to try any advances on Rhett unless instructed to.

"So you left her?" Belle asked waving the girls away.

"Indeed I did." Rhett told her, "I suppose you are pleased?"

"Rhett, you know as well as I do that I'm not pleased when you aren't happy, and you are not happy." she told him frankly.

Rhett roared in laughter, he enjoyed Belle's bluntness, "Well Belle, you are an intelligent woman." he told her, "You are right, I'm not happy."

It was true, he wished it was different. He knew it could be. She would be at Tara, he could catch the next train out and beg her to take him back. He would do it too, there was no question about it. The question was when? When would it be too much to live without her? When will the dull ache of missing the children be too much that he would get over this aversion to Scarlett that he was harborning at the moment? When would he get on his knees and beg her to take him back?

Rhett could only sigh. He didn't know the answer. He just knew that eventually he would return, he had to anyway. Hadn't he promised her that he would return from time to time to keep Atlanta at bay? Even if he didn't care about her reputation at the moment, he didn't hate her enough to subject her to the idle gossipers of the Old Guard.

"I'm not happy." Rhett repeated.

"You need to get her out of your head. She's poisoned you Rhett." Belle told him.

She did poison him, at only sixteen she filled his mind with her image and his veins with her presence. At that moment he wanted her, more than anything he wanted her. She was the only woman that he wanted that long. Perhaps because she never truly gave into him. She only married him for his money, not for any pleasure that he could give her. Certainly not because she loved him, as much as she liked to claim that she loved him now. He could only roll his eyes at the though, what did Scarlett O'Hara know about love? Her only example was her obsession with the wooden headed Ashley Wilkes and her father's devotion to her mother.

"I know she had Belle, and I'm afraid that I don't know the cure." he sighed.

"When are you going to return to her?"

"I don't know Belle. I'm hoping that a trip to Charleston will clear my head, perhaps I'll go west for a while. I did enjoy California."

"Mexican whores are more to you liking that Southern girls?"

"My how blunt you are Belle, not a good quality for a lady."

"Rhett, you know I ain't a lady."

"You are more of a lady that most of the self proclaimed ladies I've known, except Mrs. Wilkes."

Belle could only laugh, "Be on your way know Captain Butler, unless you wish for my company tonight." she said.

Rhett stood, "The sooner I can get to Charleston the sooner I can get out of the south." he said, "Then out of the country. I need to clear my head for a while Belle, I'll be back soon to pay you and my...wife...a visit."

The next three months were very uneventful to Scarlett, her days were filled by going over the books, buying supplies, and making Tara produce. She was pleased with how Will was running her beloved Plantation, but he wasn't making her produce to her full extent. The woods had reclaimed most of the land, and it took a lot of money and labor to claim it back. Scarlett had to hire a whole team of darkies, but first she had to rebuild the servant's quarters, then she had to make sure they were fully supplied, then she had to find darkies that were willing to be Field hands. She got lucky after her second month of searching. She had found the darkies that used to work at Twelve Oaks, they were more than willing to help their old neighbors, since the only left because the plantation burning down. During her third month, she found Big Sam and a few of the other field hands. They were more than willing to work for "Miz Scarlett."

After being at Tara for half a year, Scarlett became bored and irritable. At home, she could avoid her children and the others in the house, but Tara was simply too small to go a day without being bugged by someone. What's more, she had heard from Rhett, he sent her a note simply stating that he was going to be in Atlanta the following week and was going to be staying at their house.

She wondered if he was letting her know so she wouldn't return to find him there unannounced. She decided to return home, if only for a while, using the excuse that she needed to manage the store and help Ashley with the Mills. Suellen and Will saw her and the children, who she had sent over after a month at Tara, off to Atlanta. She had sent a message to Rhett telling her when they would be arriving, and could he please send Pork with the carriage.

Upon arriving to Atlanta, she could see that he did not send Pork to pick her up. In fact, there didn't seem to be anyone waiting for them at all. _That Cad. _She thought angrily. Forcing her to walk to their house was one thing, but the children? When did Rhett become so heartless. Just as she was about to take a step off the platform onto the mud, she saw a carriage barreling down the street. She gasped when she recognized the black stallion that led the carriage.

She stepped back when it stopped in front of her. She didn't need the children calling to him happily to know that, instead of sending her the valet and giving her time to compose herself, Rhett had gone to pick them up himself.

"What are you doing here?" she said, her words full of venom.

"I haven't seen you in six months my dear wife, and this is the homecoming I get?" he asked sarcastically.

"Well you would have had a better homecoming if you had been got six months on a business trip." he retorted.

"Might I remind you that you are also returning after six months. Riddled with guilt I presume?"

"What would I have to be guilty for?" she asked, still not climbing into the carriage.

"I'd rather not say with the children present." he told her then jumped down to greet the kids.

"Uncle Rhett did you bring us presents?" Ella asked, the first words of the day.

"Ella! Mind your manners!"

"She only picks up what she observes from her mother." Rhett told her then turned to the child, "Your presents are at home, as are yours Wade."

Wade Hamilton was as scrawny as Rhett remembered. Still afraid of his own shadow, still clinging to his mother's skirts. Still devoted to the mother who couldn't bare to have him in the same room for too long. Rhett wondered why the children were so devoted to their mother, especially Ella. The child must sense that Scarlett didn't like the girl. Nor did she bother to make an effort to get to know her daughter. Scarlett thought Ella to be like Frank, if only she knew that the girl was as stubborn as she was, and had the potential to have the charm that Scarlett herself had. Rhett truly felt sorry for the children.

"Let me help you Mrs. Butler." Rhett told Scarlett, she was trying to climb into the carriage by herself and got stuck on the door.

Strong arms caught her just before she fell and suddenly she felt a peace she hadn't felt in six months. She allowed him to lift her into the carriage and then watched him help each of the children in. _He's so good with the children. _She thought. It was an old thought, but it surfaced to her mind again as she watched him offer his arm to Ella. He had hoisted her in like a lady. She giggled and batted her eyelashes at him.

Scarlett noticed how different she was at that age than her daughter. Ella enjoyed quietly playing with dolls, or talking to herself. At the time, Scarlett was climbing trees and skinning her knees. Ella would be a great lady, Scarlett realized.

"Just like Melly." she whispered.

"What was that?" Rhett asked as he took the reigns.

"I was saying how Ella is just like Melly." she told him truthfully.

"How so?" Rhett asked, trying to make conversation with her.

"Well she could be seen as a mealy mouth ninny, but she really isn't. She is everything that a lady should be." Scarlett smiled at her daughter at that moment, a real smile, which Ella had never had directed at her.

Ella found herself smiling back and ducking her head. Wade looked between his sister and his mother, this was a first for him and he was very confused, "Mother, will I be a brave soldier like my father?" Wade asked.

"Of course Wade, your father went off to war, left everything he knew behind, and went to fight a faceless stranger." she told him, spinning her first husband in a light that would appeal to the boy.

Even though Charles irritated her, even twelve years after his death, she couldn't tarnish his memory to her son.

"You forgot the most important thing." Rhett called from the front of the carriage.

"What's that?" Wade had to ask, what more was there about his father that he didn't know?

"He married your mother." Rhett said, Scarlett could hear the jeer in his voice and could imagine how his eyes would be teasing her.

She refused to answer, although her anger towards him was still great, she resolved to try to hold her tongue. What was the point any way, anything she said would be thrown back at her at a later time during an argument.

After arriving at home, the children had been sent to wash up and Scarlett was alone with her estranged husband.

"Will you be staying for dinner?" she asked him out of no where.

"Do you have a reason to want me to stay?"

"You said it yourself dear husband," she let her voice drip with sarcasm, "we haven't seen each other in six months, what will the children think if you disappear again?"

"You mean, 'what will Atlanta think if they see my horse at Belle's hours after they saw us parading through town?'"

"God's Nightgown Rhett, you know I don't care what those old cats think!" she said vehemently.

"Don't you, my pet?" he asked.

It was the first time she had heard the words in six months. She didn't understand why they caused her heart to flutter. Why she cared so much of his pet names. All she could conclude was that she missed him, and she still loved him.

Thrown off balance by this realization, that after six months of not seeing him, six months of heart ache, she still loved the man that hurt her the most, she suddenly got a headache. She wanted, no, she needed a drink. She knew where all the liquor was hidden. Of course, drinking now, in front of Rhett, would add fuel to his fire. What man would want a woman that was addicted to liquor?

"No, I don't." she said, her words losing their fire. "Excuse me." she told him as dizzyness overtook her.

"Are you alright Scarlett?" he asked, catching her elbow as she staggered.

"I'm fine." she said yanking her arm away.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Of course I haven't, I only drink when I'm around you too long." she started for the stairs again, then hesitated, could she make it up there in her dizzyness? Why was she so dizzy?

His arms were around her in an instant, he knocked her knees out from under her and cradled her against his chest. It was just like that night, only he was sober and didn't kiss her. He was looking straight ahead when he carried her upstairs to her bed.

"It's been a long day." she told him, "I've been getting tired easily since..." her voice trailed off.

Ever since the accident, when she fell down the stairs and had a miscarriage. The lose was still raw in both of them, especially since so many things happened all at once. They lost the baby, lost Bonnie, lost Melly, and lost each other. So much loss in such a small amount of time. Neither had time to mourn the unborn child. Both realized it that that moment.

"Scarlett..." he wanted to ask her forgiveness, again.

He wanted to beg her to forgive him, to beg her to forgive everything. The words that caused her to fall, for allowing Bonnie to raise the bar, that stupid bar for that stupid pony to jump over. He wanted to ask her to forgive him for leaving. He couldn't do anything about Melly, but everything else...he felt as if it was his fault. He had known the pony was too small to make the jump. He knew Scarlett was too much of a lady to be unfaithful to him, he knew she loved Ashley when he married her.

"Yes Rhett?" she asked, looking up at him.

Scarlett wanted him to lower his face, she wanted to feel his lips on hers, to feel his touch in her most private places. She wanted to go into her bedroom and stay there until the next morning, or perhaps for a week. She wanted him.

He didn't say anything. They were at her room now. He set her down and opened the door for her, "I'll have Prissy bring up your dinner." he told her.

"Are you going out tonight?" she asked, her voice almost child like.

"Yes, I have business to attend to."

That night, Rhett rode to Belle's slipping in the back door, he walked to her office and waited for her. When she did arrive, Rhett was already drunk. He couldn't stop thinking of the raven haired beauty he had left at the overly ornate house.

Belle stood at the doorway of her office watching him, "You're thinkin' about her." she said, breaking through his thoughts.

"You are observant." he said drunkenly.

"You drank all the Brandy" she told him accusingly.

"I'll supply you with more."

"Welcome home Rhett." she told him.

"That's what I came to talk to you about." he told her, "I'll be staying in Atlanta, but I won't be coming here." he told her.

"I thought you were separated from her."

"I am, but I owe her too much to do this to her right now."

"You've changed Captain Butler." the red head told him, her eyes narrowing.

"I have Belle. I've lost two children."

"I thought only Bonnie died." she said, "Did something happen to-"

"Don't worry about him Belle, he is fine." he said, his eyes narrowing at the mention of the boy, as they always did, "She was pregnant, when she fell down the stairs."

He hadn't shared that with Belle, for the sake of Scarlett's modesty. Even he knew that there were something's that his wife would want to remain private.

"Go." she told him, "Go be with your...wife..."

_Scarlett found herself in the fog again. She was hungry, and she was running. She couldn't make sense of...anything. All she knew was that she had to find it. She had to find it and she would be ok. Rhett, Rhett would know where to find it. She just had to find Rhett. But Rhett was gone, he didn't care about her. He had as much. _

"_Where would I go, what will I do?" she had asked that fateful day. _

"_My dear, I don't give a damn." he had responded. _

_Rhett didn't care about her. He didn't give a damn about her. She would have to find it alone, but she was so scared. Where was she? Where was her mother? Her father? Dead. She was now at the graveyard. Her mother's graves, her father's. But in the wrong place, weren't they buried at Tara? Bonnie's grave. The dates on the stone so close together. Too close. Melly's grave. _

Rhett was walking down the hallway, hours after his encounter with Belle. He had stopped because he heard a noise in Scarlett's room. Knowing it was just her nightmare, he shrugged and kept walking, until he heard something different. His name.

_Charles's grave, Frank's, all the unmarked graves, they all swam in her face. Then she was running again, running and shaking. _

"_Scarlett, Scarlett!" _

_The voice, it was so familiar. Why was it familiar? Why was she shaking? _

"_Scarlett!" _

She jerked out of her slumber, to find Rhett standing above her. His face full of concern. Her door was kicked open, how had she not heard that? She looked at Rhett again and burst into tears. She clung to him, even when he lifted her up to settle her on his lap, as he had done in the early days of their marriage.

"Was it the nightmare?" he asked in a soothing voice after he calmed her down.

"Yes." she whispered, "But it was worse. I remembered what you had told me, about you never letting me go hungry again..."

"Go on." he urged.

"But I...I..." she couldn't form the words.

"You what?"

"I remembered that...that you don't give a damn about me." she said, a new wave of emotion hitting her.

He felt ashamed, what was it about her that made him feel ashamed so many times that day?

"And then what?" he asked.

"And then, the graves...everyone's graves...Mother, Pa, Bonnie, Melly, my brothers..." she was crying harder.

"Anything else?"

"Then the fog, and your voice." she told him.

"Go to sleep Scarlett, I'm here, you're safe." he told her, wondering if the words were true. So far he had just hurt her, physically and emotionally.

"I know." she whispered, "Rhett...will you stay with me."

"I'll stay until you fall asleep." he assured her.

"Will you stay until I wake up?"

He was caught off guard by the question. Surely she wasn't inviting him back into her chamber?

"Just for tonight." his hopes dashed.

"Of course my darling. The tomorrow we shall resume our indifference towards each other."

She was beyond hearing. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was long and deep. He lay her down on her bed and went to his, long enough to change into his night clothes. She was already tossing when he reentered her room. Surely she didn't need him there that badly? She was stronger than that! He climbed in next to her and felt her body relax instantly. The words that escaped her mouth in her slumber astonished him.

"I love you Rhett."


	2. Chapter 2

"Scarlett I'm leaving again." Rhett told her.

"When will you be back?" she asked.

Ever since she had a nightmare, Rhett and Scarlett were civil towards each other. It had been two weeks since Rhett had returned and he had been avoiding Belle's place. He would go do other business, coming in late at night, it caused an argument between Rhett and Scarlett.

"You always come in here so late at night. You come to keep the rumors at bay yet you're always off doing something late at night, I know you're at Belle's." Scarlett had said venomously.

"My coming's and goings are of no concern to you Mrs. Butler and I pray you remember that." he said cooly.

Truthfully he was building her a new house, smaller than the one she had, more like Tara. He had the idea when she returned from Tara. Even though she couldn't go back to Tara, for all it's grander, it was small for two families, he could bring Tara to her. This act was his way of apologizing to her for the things he had done to hurt her.

"They are my concern when they make me the laughing stock of Atlanta!" she didn't bother to keep her voice down, the children were visiting Ashley.

"I assure you my pet, my actions aren't making you the laughing stock of Atlanta, you already secured that spot on your own." he told her and turned on his heel to walk out.

She grabbed the nearest thing she could find, an ornate vase, and threw it at him narrowly missing his head.

"I see you still have quiet an arm on you Scarlett." he told her then walked out the parlor door. She heard the front door slam.

Scarlett was angry at him for a long time after that. Even when she had a nightmare and had awoken to see him standing over her, she yelled at him and sent him from her room. He had turned cool towards her, but still civil.

"When will you come back?" she repeated when he didn't answer her.

"I heard you my pet, I was just calculating the days. I'll be returning to Georgia in a month's time." he started, "And to Atlanta in two months."

"So long?"

"It's less than half a year, did you miss me last time my pet?" his voice was teasing and Scarlett's eyes narrowed.

"No, I didn't miss you. You are a cad and I hope you never return."

He could only laugh, "You are still as spirited as ever darling. I will return, in two months time."

"When are you leaving?" she asked.

"Now are you trying to get rid of me?"

"Be civil!" she snapped.

"I'll be leaving tomorrow morning." he said shaking his head.

The front door slammed and the adult's raised their heads waiting to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet running down the hall.

"Mother, Uncle Rhett, Aunt Scarlett!" came the voices of three children.

"In the dining room Wade, Ella, Beau." Scarlett called out.

Her own children ran to Rhett and Beau ran to Scarlett. She smiled and hugged her nephew, "How's your father Beau?" she asked him, as she always did.

"He's trying to catch up with us." Wade said proudly. "We raced here from the house, I won, the Beau, then Ella, and Uncle Ashley is in the back."

"Oh you beat your Uncle? He used to be the fastest runner in the county." Scarlett laughed, it was true, he was the fastest male runner in the county, no one could beat Scarlett.

There was a knock on the door and Pork went to answer it, "Miz Scarlett, Cap'n Butler, Mist. Ashley is here." Pork announced, standing in the dining room doorway.

"Come in Ashley." Scarlett called out.

Ashley Wilkes was a pathetic man, in Rhett's opinion. He had no backbone. It was true that he had fought in the war, but Melly had fought a war of her own, and she fought it while still maintaining an air of dignity. While Ashley was gallivanting off with the foolish soldiers, Melly had fought to give birth to a child, survive the road to Tara, and survived the Yankees trying to burn them out of Tara. Melly fought a harder war, as did the women that had been left behind.

"Good afternoon Scarlett, Captain Butler." Ashley nodded to them both.

"What can I do for you Ashley?" Scarlett asked, noting Rhett's reaction.

Rhett stood calmly calculating his wife. If she did in deed fall out of love with Ashley, he would be able to see it, since he could read his wife like an open book. He watched her eyes fill with nothing. The old look of wanting was gone, leaving an empty sea of green. She didn't lean towards him unconsciously as she used to, she didn't try to touch him.

Ashley was also watching Scarlett, he was starting to notice her again. Now that Melly was gone, he couldn't help but notice that his brotherly ties to Scarlett were severed. Her husband hand been dead for 12 years and his wife was dead for six months. In six more it would be socially acceptable to be seen in public with her again. If only she wasn't married to Rhett. He sighed, and noticed Rhett's eyes dart to him. Rhett searched his face for something and when he found it, a look of pity crossed his own face.

Rhett did pity Ashley, finally the mad was realizing his attraction to Scarlett, and to think, he was so close to having her six months ago! Rhett would have kicked himself if the honorable Ashley Wilkes would have forgotten what is socially acceptable and had made advances towards Scarlett. Advances that Rhett himself was certain she would reciprocate, if only to be sure that her love for him was indeed non existent. Of course, by then the gossip mill would be churning out news that would have reached him had be been in China!

"Well Scarlett, I came by to see if you can come to the mills tomorrow morning. I need your assistance with the books." he told her.

Scarlett frowned, she had fixed the books only a week before, what was his real purpose? Ashley annoyed her to no end. His stupid wooden headedness made her wonder why she found him desirable in the first place. He was nothing like Rhett. Rhett was strong, he knew how to run a business. Yes, he had his faults, but the way he took care of those that were important to him made up for those faults. Of course, Scarlett didn't dare herself the luxury of fantasizing that Rhett cared about her. He knew that the children were the most important thing to him. Especially Wade.

"Scarlett darling, I believe we had an engagement tomorrow." Rhett's voice broke through her thoughts.

"Did we?" Scarlett asked shocked, "I thought you were leaving tomorrow morning?"

"Tomorrow afternoon then." Ashley said quickly.

"The business I have can wait a bit Scarlett." he told her, "Perhaps Mr. Wilkes can bring the books to you later today and we can take them back to him before our engagement."

"Yes...Ashley could you do that?" Scarlett asked him, hardly daring to believe that Rhett was staying for another few weeks.

"I suppose I could."

"Good then, now if you excuse us, I would like some time alone with my wife and the children, a few weeks doesn't quite make up for being absent for six months does it?" Rhett said smoothly.

After Ashley and Beau left, and the children were sent outside, Scarlett turned to Rhett, "How long?" she asked.

"As long as it takes my pet."

"For what?" she furrowed her brow in confusion.

"For Ashley Wilkes to realize that you are a married lady, a bad reputation does not give you permission to be unfaithful."

"What are you talking about Rhett?" Scarlett asked, her voice mirroring her expression.

"I'm talking about the way he was looking at you! As if you were a...a...as if you were one of Belle's girls!"

Scarlett's eyes went wide, "are you jealous of Ashley?" she asked.

"No Scarlett, I'm just protecting what's mine."

"So I am yours?" she asked batting her eyelashes.

"Yes, as long as you have that ring on your finger and you refuse to sign the papers, you are still my wife and he will remember that."

Scarlett felt the sting of his words, he didn't want her. Not really. She was only his wife because she refused to even think about a divorce.

"Well then you must remember that you are my husband!" she shot back, "I don't want you gallivanting off to be with Belle or any other whore!" she shouted.

Rhett was in front of her in a second. His hands gripped her shoulders, bruising her.

"Turn me loose!" she said jerking away from him.

He looked down at her, his eyes burning with something she perceived as anger. It frightened her, even though she was wrong.

"Scarlett look at me." his voice was dangerous.

She forced her eyes to look at him defiantly, refusing to show the fear.

"Have I been with Belle since I've been here?" he asked her.

"I don't know Rhett, I don't monitor your comings and goings."

"Oh but you do my pet. I know you sleep with your door ajar, I know that you listen when I move about my room at night. I know you walk passed my door to listen if I'm still inside."

"I do not!"

"You do Scarlett, you know I hate it when you lie to me."

She didn't deny it anymore.

"You know I haven't been outside of this house except during the day when I'm doing business." he told her.

Scarlett waited, his grip didn't loosen, he seemed to be thinking of something.

"Rhett?" she asked, her arms were going numb.

"Do you know the other engagement that we have Scarlett?" he asked her.

"No, what is it?"

"Tomorrow would have been her birthday."

Scarlett knew who he was talking about. She felt a cold pain stab through her heart. Her little Bonnie would have been another year older. She closed her eyes and ignored the sound that was coming out of her mouth, like a dying cat. Tears ran down her cheeks and the grip on Rhett's arms released, only to be replaced by his arms around her waist. She felt warm wet streaks falling down her back and realized that Rhett had placed his head against her shoulder. The wetness was his tears. Rhett...who never let her see him cry since Bonnie's death, was crying at that moment. They never mourned together. Scarlett was angry at Rhett, and Rhett was blaming himself.

The next day, Rhett roused Scarlett up early, they were going to go spend a few hours with Bonnie before going to get the children. In all they would spend her birthday at the cemetery. Scarlett wasn't fond of the idea, she hated graveyards because she felt as if the angel statues were convicting her of not going to church, or even praying. During her life as an adult, she found nothing to pray for. Her religion didn't give her comfort, it didn't bring back her girlhood, her parents, or her daughter.

At the cemetery, the couple knelt at their daughter's grave, "Happy birthday sweetie." Scarlett whispered then blew a kiss at the stone.

Rhett had purchased a hundred blue flowers and he placed them on the marker. They stood and their arms found each other. In silence they held each other and Scarlett felt the tears threatening to fall again. She wanted to go home, to find comfort in her bed, and in Rhett's arms. Being held in public was embarrassing, especially because mourners were coming to see Melly's grave, even if it wasn't her anniversary of her six months, they still trickled to leave her flowers. A few stopped by Bonnie to leave her a blue flower or two, which was returned by a nod by her parents.

Mrs. Mead recalled to Mrs. Elsing that Scarlett looked as if she was about to faint, standing there by the child's grave. Mrs. Merryweather told of how the children arrived later and they too put flowers on Bonnie's grave. Wade had told a story about how he remembered not liking Bonnie at first, and how now he missed her. It caused Scarlett to faint and she had to be carried home by Rhett.

Scarlett woke up in her room. Rhett was sitting next to her, holding her hand. He saw when she woke up.

"Drink." he told her offering her a glass.

The liquor burned it's way down her throat and she coughed violently, but she felt better.

"Rhett, you know I don't drink anymore." she told him after her coughing spell.

"You need it after today." he told her, "You should have told me that you were feeling poorly, I would have brought you home earlier."

"It's her birthday Rhett, I wanted to spend it with my daughter, as I do with every child." she snapped.

He smiled, she was back to her old self.

"Can you walk?" he asked and helped her out of bed.

She wobbled so he lifted her up.

"Where are we going?" she asked him curiously.

He didn't answer, instead he carried her to a room that no one ventured in. Opening the door, they were hit with the smell of a room that had been locked up for a very long time. Scarlett started shaking, not wanting to go further, but wanting it at the same time. She hadn't been there since the funeral. She had tried to pack up her things, but it didn't happen. Rhett had come in and forced her out, locking the door so she couldn't get in.

He set her down gently and walked into the still room. A fine layer of dust covered everything, and a few cobwebs were in the corners, but other than that it was just as it was left. The bed was made perfectly, she wasn't sleeping in that room when she died. The toys were still out, as if waiting for their mistress to return to play with them, or put them away. The last thought was ridiculous, Bonnie wasn't known for putting her toys away. A dress was hanging on a chair, she was going to wear it that day. It was blue, like everything else she wore. Her hair was still in the comb, dry and brittle, it broke to dust as soon as Rhett touched it.

Scarlett couldn't stand seeing the tears that pooled in his dark eyes. He loved Bonnie the most. She was his only daughter. Yes, she was Scarlett's favorite, but she still had Ella and Wade to call her own, Rhett had just lost another child, then he lost his wife. It was a wonder that he wasn't colder towards her. All at once Scarlett came to realize the pain he was in when she died. His wife was unfaithful to him in her heart, he felt as if she would never love him. His daughter, the one that he could spoil like he wanted to spoil Scarlett was dead. With her, Scarlett was dead, the Scarlett that he fell in love with. The Scarlett that was untainted by war and hard times. The girl that believed that everything would be perfect, because her father made it so.

Scarlett walked over to him, he was hunched over the blue dress. His shoulders were shaking and she reached out to put a shaky hand on his shoulder, to comfort him. Her whipped around suddenly, the frightening look back in his eyes. Scarlett drew back and he caught her wrist. She expected to be hurt, or bruised at least, but with a gentleness that she hadn't seen from him in a long time, he pulled her hand towards his lips. He kissed her palm, her fingers, her wrist. Up her arm then her lips.

Surprise and desire rushed through her. Her arms went around his neck and she gave herself into that kiss. She pressed herself against him, willing him to lift her up and take her in her bedroom. Willing...willing...

He broke away. Her breathing was coming in ragged breaths and he was gulping for air.

"Forgive me." he whispered.

"No." she shook her head, "There's nothing I need to forgive you for."

"But there is." he took her hands in his and led her out of Bonnie's room to her own, "Scarlett, forgive me for causing your miscarriage, for raising Bonnie's bar, for teaching her to jump! Forgive me for leaving you on the road to Tara, for forcing you into an unhappy marriage, for making you unhappy!" he was on his knees now, as he knew he would be eventually. "Forgive me for leaving my darling."

She shook her head, "I told you, there is nothing that _I _need to forgive _you_ for." she emphasized the words.

"Scarlett...you can't have forgiven me for doing so much to you already can you?"

"I forgave you when I saw you just now, crying over her dress. Rhett, I'm sorry for thinking I was in love with Ashley."

She knew that was the big one. The one thing that stopped them from being truly happy. Before she could say anything else, his mouth was on hers again. They undressed each other and fell onto her bed in passion. On their daughter's birthday, they unknowingly gave their little angel the greatest gift of all, her parent's put their past behind them.

**A/N: Kinda fluffy I know...it gets complicated later, don't worry. XD **


	3. Chapter 3

Scarlett lay in a state of bliss in Rhett's arms. He was tracing patters on her back. His lips were leaving small kisses on her neck. She shivered and looked up at him.

"Are you cold Mrs. Butler?" he asked with a knowing smile.

"No, I am quite warm Mr. Butler." she answered him and laid her head on his chest.

"Scarlett." Rhett said in a voice that she knew so well.

"Rhett don't ruin the moment." she told him.

She just wanted to lay there and pretend. Pretend that they were happy, pretend that Bonnie and Ella would be bursting into the room in a few hours wanting to start the day. Pretending that Wade would be right behind his little sisters ready to chastise them for disturbing their parents. She even went as far as to pretend that the baby that had died was still in her womb. She wanted to pretend that everything was perfect.

Rhett understood the unspoken words. He too wanted to pretend that they were perfect. That Bonnie and the unborn child weren't dead, that the children would run in and ask to go to Aunt Melly's so they could play with Beau. He sighed and noticed Scarlett's frown.

"No negative words or thoughts Mr. Butler." Scarlett told him firmly, "It's still her birthday and I won't have anything negative on her birthday." her voice got choked up.

Rhett glanced at the clock on the mantle. It was only eleven at night, it was still her birthday. He was shocked to feel wetness on his chest, he looked down to see Scarlett crying silently.

"She wouldn't want negative words or thoughts on her birthday." she kept whispering.

"You're right." he told her, "her birthday wish was for us to be together again." his voice was rough, "she told me once, she said, 'for my birthday will you and mother, me, Wade, and Ella have a sleepover in mother's room?' I told her I would ask you about it when the day got closer. I don't think she even remembered telling me, she was half asleep." he had tears shining in his eyes, "She would have had a little brother or sister to join us on that sleepover."

Scarlett looked up at her husband, she hadn't seen that much emotion in his voice since Bonnie's funeral, "I would have agreed. For her." she whispered.

"Would you have, my pet? Would you have laid down your pride to allow me back in your bed?" he asked her.

"I already did." she reminded him.

"A few years too late." he told her.

"Is it Rhett?" she asked, her voice very small.

"I'm afraid that it is my pet." he said and sighed, "But you said no negative thoughts or words on her birthday."

Surprising her and himself, Rhett pulled Scarlett's lips to his. He captured her lower lip in his and tugged gently. Scarlett couldn't contain the moan that escaped her lips. Especially not when his hands started roaming.

"Mr. Butler." she started but was cut off when his hand slipped between her legs, "Rhett." she whimpered softly.

"Yes Mrs. Butler?" he asked casually.

She wanted to stop him. Her mind was screaming at her to stop. To send him away, it would hurt later. Her heart would hurt worse when he left again.

"Don't leave." she whispered.

His hand stopped and she whined at the absence when he pulled his hand away from her.

"Scarlett." he started.

"No. If you are going to leave, then don't do that." she said and got out of bed, "Don't touch me like that, don't make love to me if you are just going to leave me again. I can stand a lot Rhett Butler, you know I can stand a lot, but I can't stand that!" she was shaking.

Goosbumps erupted on her flesh. Rhett was out of bed at her side when she started swaying.

"You are not fine." he told her as soon as she started to protest. "You are about to pass out."

Rhett frowned, he expected her to be recovered by now. With a jolt he realized what it was, she hit her head...so many times when she fell. He winced.

"You could have said something about your dizzy spells. How long have they been occurring?" he asked, knowing the answer.

"Since the accident." she told him softly, "I hit my head a lot you know." her voice was like acid.

She wanted to hurt him, make him feel the pain that was wracking her body at that moment. The clock struck midnight, Bonnie's birthday was over.

"So Mr. Butler, are you going to be leaving this morning?" she asked him, changing the subject.

"Do you want me to?" he asked, wondering if he should stay and force her to see Dr. Mead.

"No." she told him truthfully, "But when have you ever listened to me?" she asked him.

"Touche, now tell me, are you going to banish me from your room now or are we going to end this conversation by falling back into bed in a fit of passion. I must know so I can get dressed." he told her.

Her eyes went wide when she realized that they were both standing in her bedroom arguing, stark naked.

"You cad." she spit out.

"Is that the best you can do my pet?" he laughed, "My Scarlett your tongue seems to have dulled in the last six months."

She gathered her clothing and started redressing.

"Leave it off Mrs. Butler, you look better without it." he told her.

Scarlett blushed to her roots. "You should not speak of such things." she told him, noticing for the first time, the look of lust in his eyes.

"I should not tell my wife that she looks better unclothed?" he asked innocently.

"You lost that privilege when you left me." she said, her voice full of venom. "Actually, you lost it when you said, 'Cheer up.-'"

"Don't say it." Rhett said dangerously.

"'Maybe you'll have a -'"

"Scarlett..."

"'Miscarriage.'" she said the word softly.

He moved faster than she could ever see. One second she was standing looking at his fuming face, the next she was in his hard arms. He was holding her arms tightly, bruising her.

"Turn me loose!" she said angrily.

Instead he shook her, "How long are you going to punish me?"

"Stop screaming at me!" she said angrily.

"Answer me! How long will I be punished for killing our children?"

Scarlett's breath caught, "I thought you didn't believe that the baby was yours?"

"Who else could have fathered that child Scarlett? Even if you were unfaithful emotionally, you wouldn't risk your reputation by having an affair!"

"Then why did you ask me who the father was?"

"I was angry, I wanted to hurt you. My God Scarlett, I was a man who was in love with a woman who was too busy pinning over a married man." he stopped shaking her, but he didn't release her.

"You're hurting me."

"Good, then you'll know what it feels like." he told her, "You didn't answer me, when are you going to stop blaming me for killing our children?"

"When it stops being your fault." she spat out at him and twisted herself out of his grasp.

She put her nightdress on and opened her door, "I believe it's time for you to-"

He grabbed her again. His mouth coming down hard on hers. A thrill went through her even as she pulled away.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"I'm going to take you until I give you back the child that I owe you." he said, his voice hollow.

"I'm not something you can use when you please. Besides, you'll just leave again, leaving me with another brat." she snapped.

He didn't release her. His mouth took hers again, his hands ripped at her clothes.

"Rhett stop!" she demanded.

He ignored her. Throwing her on the bed, he wanted to hurt her, to humiliate her the way she had humiliated him for years.

"Rhett, please stop." she said, her voice going from anger to panic. She had never seen him like this.

He ignored her again. His lips explored her body, starting with her neck, he trailed tiny kissed down her throat, her breasts, and her stomach. She couldn't deny what he was doing to her body. She wanted him, but not like this.

"Rhett, please." she pleaded with him again, trying to force her legs to remain closed.

He forced her legs to part. She stopped responding. He noticed and looked up at her. She had a reserved sort of look on her face. Her chest was heaving from the silent sobs that shook her, but otherwise she accepted what was about to happen to her. She knew she was going to get taken against her will by her husband.

Rhett got off of her. He put his clothes on and walked out of her room. She winced when she heard the front door slam. Sobs wracked through her body and she stopped being silent. She sobbed loudly into her pillow and fell into a fitful sleep.

When she awoke the next morning, she wondered if he had returned, or if he left her again. She got dressed alone, not wanting Prissy to see the mess in the room. After making herself presentable, she walked out of her room. She could hear the door open and childish voices filled the house, along with his voice. She started shaking again, remembering...she was sliding down to the floor. Her breath was coming in loud gasps. Wade was the first one to see her. He was running up the stairs to find her, to tell her about what he and Ella did at Aunt Pitty's the night before.

"UNCLE RHETT!" The boy shouted when he saw his mother.

Wade had never seen her like that. In his twelve years, he had never seen Scarlett have a fit. Rhett was up the stairs in a minute. Scarlett shrank away from him, not able to form words.

"Wade, take Ella and go back to Pitty's" Rhett said calmy, "Your mother doesn't need you two running around." he told her.

Wade could only nod, he trusted Uncle Rhett. Uncle Rhett would take care of mother. After being sure that the children were out of the house, Rhett turned to Scarlett. She looked at him with wide, fearful eyes. It tore at his heart. He had seen her look at him with hatred, he had seen her look determined, in love, scared, but only of the Yankees. He had never look at him with such fear.

"Scarlett..." he began.

"Get away from me." she managed to get out. "Get away from me, GET AWAY!" she shrieked.

Rhett bent down and lifted her up, he carried her to her room and laid her gently on her bed. She shrinked away from him as soon as his arms weren't around her anymore.

"I'm sorry." he whispered.

"You're sorry? You almost raped me Rhett Butler, and you're sorry!" she laughed hysterically, "I knew you were an ill mannered cad but I never thought I married a rapist."

"What I almost did, has no excuse. If someone did that to Bonnie, I would kill him. I'll leave now." he told her and bowed gracefully before starting towards the door. "You won't hear from me again Scarlett, I'll get out of your life and leave you in peace."

She wanted him to leave. To never hear from him again. She wanted to be free from him. That is, the wanted to want all that. For everything he had done to her, the thought of losing him hurt more than anything.

"Wait, Rhett..." his hand was on the door knob when he paused.

He sighed, "I have a train to try to catch." he said in a tired voice.

"Come here."

She was sitting up on her bed, trying to force her body to relax. He looked dejected when he walked towards her. He bore the look of a man that had just lost everything. It confused her. Surely he didn't care what happened to her, didn't he say it himself?

"_Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." _

She reached for his hand, which he gave to her willingly. This was wrong, was it because of what he almost did? Is that why he was being so...different?

"I love you." she whispered.

"I don't believe you." he told her, a glint of his mocking tone was seeping through his voice. "How could you, after I killed our unborn child, led to the death of our daughter, I left you, and I nearly raped you."

He kept messing up. He knew it. For years he wanted to hear those words. To hear her say that she loved him. Truly he loved her, still. He wanted to say it back, but what good would it do? What was left of their marriage, he ruined the night before. How could they be together if she was afraid of him?

She tugged on his hand gently. He leaned down a bit, allowing her to wrap her arms around his neck. She tugged him down until he had to sit on the edge of her bed. Scarlett frowned at his stubbornness, wasn't she the one that was supposed to be stubborn? Wasn't he supposed to be the one showering her body with caresses while she refused to comply, at least for a while. She always wanted him.

"I can't explain why I love you, I just do." she whispered.

"You also loved Ashley." he reminded her.

"Ashley..." she spat out his name, "I had an idea of the kind of man I wanted, and when Ashley showed up one day fitting the description, I clung to him. I was wrong Rhett, I was too blind to see that you are what I want, what I need."

"Even after..."

She cut him off, "Don't mention it anymore. Can't we put our past behind us and start over?" she looked at him, her green eyes swimming with tears. "Can't we forget how much we hurt each other, can't we forgive each other?"

"I don't think it's that easy my love." he told her.

Her green eyes went wide when she noticed his slip. He cursed himself silently. How could he have said that? It just made it harder to walk away from her.

"You do love me." she whispered.

"No."

"Just admit it Rhett, just admit that you love me."

"NO!" he pushed her away and stood up.

"Why won't you admit it?" she demanded.

"Because I'm not good for you Scarlett. You were a delicate flower, even after war and famine passed over you, you were a hard headed, delicate rose, and I tainted you. When I asked you to dance, when I bid on you, I tainted you. I turned you away from teachings of old. I scandalized you. It's because of me that you aren't received in any house in Atlanta."

"I don't care Rhett!" she stood up and went to him, put her arms around his waist and buried her head in his chest.

"You should." he told her, "For Wade and Ella's sake. Do it for them Scarlett, put down these silly fantasies of love and work for your reputation. I'll go missing, you can get a letter from a hospital somewhere in California stating that I'm dead if it'll help."

"I don't want you to go missing, or fake your death, not if I lose you."

"Scarlett, you lost me when you shunned me from your room after Bonnie was born." he said, the mocking back in his voice.

"No...I refuse to believe that. Just now, you called me your love."

"That was a mistake."

"You're lying, I can see it in your face." she was determined now. Her eyes were snapping with determination.

"Keep yourself in these delusions Miss O'Hara." he told her and bowed, "Good day." he left her room.

"Rhett come back." she said following behind him.

He ignored her. Ignored the tears that were in her voice. Ignored her choking sobs. Ignored the pain in his heart at the thought of leaving her again.

"Rhett, please stop." she was using the words from the night before, but in this context, it made it harder for him to bear.

"Rhett please." it was agony for him to hear.

She stopped following him. She had the same look on her face. She accepted what was happening, she accepted that he was leaving her again. She was stealing herself for the sound of the door closing. She was waiting for him to walk out of her life, this time, permanently.

"What do you want me to say Scarlett."

"That you love me and that you are going to stay with me. For better or for worse, as long as we both shall live." she reminded him of their vows.

"I can't stay here Scarlett." he told her, unknowing to her, he was hinting something.

"In Atlanta or with me?" she asked, not understanding his wording.

"Here, in this house. This horrible house where..." his voice caught. "I can't stand looking at the door and expect her to run in. She's around every corner. I hear her voice in the walls. I look at the stairs, and I see you tumbling down them over and over again. I relive those moments constantly. Being told to prepare myself for your death. Thinking that I would have to raise our children without you. Thinking that I had to bury you. Me...I'm twenty years older than you, and I was living with the fact that I would have to bury my young wife. It was harder to face that than knowing that I ruined your life because of something I did before you were even born!"

_The memories plagued him. He thought she was dead, she was so still, lying on the bottom step. Quickly, he called for Mammy, who picked her up and carried her upstairs to her bedroom. He went to get the doctor, and Melly. He remembered the words. _

"_She's alive, but just barely. Prepare for the worst Captain Butler. Are you going to be raising Wade and Ella?" _

_The question was asked out of curiosity, but it made it final. Scarlett was dying, and it was his fault. _

Scarlett watched, terrified, when he sank to his knees. His shoulders were heaving and he had tears running down his face. 'He never got to mourn.' she thought to herself. 'He was always so strong, he had to be.' She reached for him, taking his hand, like she would with Wade, and tugged gently until he was on his feet. She led him to her bedroom. When he sat on the bed, she sat on his lap. His arms went around her, his touch was urgent, as if to make sure that she was still there.

"I'm here, Rhett, I'm fine." she whispered over and over again. "I can have other babies, if you want them. I can leave this house, go where ever you want." she kept whispering.

"You don't want my babies." he reminded her roughly.

"Darling, your babies are the ones that I want the most. I wish Wade and Ella were yours too." she said, not caring that she was disrespecting her previous husbands. They didn't matter to her, not like Rhett did.

"You shouldn't say such things Mrs. Butler." she looked at him and was happy to see that the tears were gone.

"But it's true. I wish I hadn't married either one. If I had married you from the start, I wouldn't have had financial problems." she said impishly, hoping to get a laugh out of him.

He roared with laughter, "You little minx." he said affectionately.

"Do you love me, Rhett?" she asked.

"I don't trust you enough to answer Scarlett."

"Then you do."

"Or I don't, but I don't trust you not to claw my face."

"Take a leap of faith."

"All in due time my lo- pet." he corrected himself, but not before Scarlett noticed.

"Did you mean what you said? About leaving this monstrosity?" he changed the subject.

"But where would we go?" she asked curiously.

"I know of a place. I think you might like it."

"Oh where?" she got excited by the thought.

"It's a surprise." he said.

"Show me Rhett, please!" she looked at him through her lashes, pulling all her charms on him.

He laughed and carried her through the house, down to the front of the house, where the carriage was waiting. He drove it down the Peachtree until he got to the outskirts of Atlanta. Scarlett frowned, wondering where he could possibly be taking her.

On the horizon, nestled between a small forest of trees, there was a house. A white, haphazardly pieced together house that looked as if it was built to last 500 years. It was all white, her breath caught when they got closer.

"Rhett..."

"It's the exact replica of it. Down to the architecture."

"But why?"

"You love that house Scarlett, if you can't live there, I brought her to you." he was looking at her, smiling, "Do you like it?" he asked, sounding like Wade when he drew her his first picture.

"Oh Rhett, I love it!" she said and kissed him on the lips. "When can we move in?"

"It's fully furnished already, so we just need to pack up your dresses and the childrens' things and we can move in by next week."

"Oh Rhett, then we can start over?" she asked him. Praying for him to say yes.

"We can try to start over." he told her and kissed her softly. "By the way, I love you."


	4. Chapter 4

It took a month to settle into the new house in Atlanta. Rhett had furnished it similar to Tara, except the pieces were more elegant. The only thing that remained from the old plantation were things that were important to Scarlett's mother. When they had moved to the monstrosity, Scarlett had the things brought from Tara, much to Suellen's chagrin. Rhett had also furnished Scarlett's room exactly how it was at Tara, except with a much comfortable bed. It was not fitting for a man's room, because the room at Tara was fit for a princess, but Rhett didn't care as long as Scarlett was happy. Besides, who would see their bedroom except the two of them, and the children? Well the servants, of course, but they weren't of concern to Rhett. Rhett had also brought something important from Tara, something, or rather, someone, that made the picture complete. Even in her old age, Mammy agreed to return to Atlanta. She still wanted to be buried by Miss Ellen, but Rhett assured her that he would make the arrangements himself.

During the month, things were peaceful. The couple didn't argue, the children were happy and comforted by their new surroundings. Wade started a Preparatory school. The same one that Charles had attended. Ella, who was still too young, just played with her new companions, grandchildren of the Old Guard. It was a shock when the old guard appeared on the steps of the new house, they had heard rumors about it being built. The rumors were confirmed by Scarlett herself, when she was telling Fanny Elsing about the house that Rhett had built her. The Old Guard were also surprised to find that Scarlett wasn't bragging about her new place. Someone new had replaced Scarlett, and Atlanta was pleased with the change.

Two months after the day that Rhett showed Scarlett the house, things became sour. Rhett had started staying out later and later. One night, he smelled of cheap perfume.

"Where have you been?" Scarlett asked from the shadows of the parlor where she had been waiting for Rhett for the passed three hours.

"What business is it of yours?" he asked, obviously drunk.

"It is my business because you are my husband and this is my happiness that you are ruining!"

He let out a roaring laugh.

"Your happiness? My pet, only money makes you happy." he told her and moved passed her.

When she caught the smell of cheap perfume she couldn't control her rage.

"You were at the whore house weren't you?" she demanded, "You promised me that you wouldn't return there, or to any of them. Why do you need to go there anyway? You have a wife here who is more than willing to - "

She couldn't continue. Rhett's lips had crashed down on hers. She twisted her head to get away from him.

"I thought you were more than willing?" he teased.

"Not when you just got back from that place." she snapped and started to walk away from him.

She expected him to follow her. She wanted him to take her into his arms and promise that he would never go there again. He didn't. He just watched her walk up the stairs. When she was back in their room, she heard him ascending the staircase. She was tempted to lock the door, to keep him out, but decided against it. She was laying in bed when he stopped at the bathroom, which he had installed. She heard him call to Pork, who was still awake waiting for Rhett's return. Pork heated up some water and took it to the bath. Rhett undressed and climbed into the water. He washed the smell of perfume off of his body and thought of the events that had transpired that night.

He didn't mean to wind up at Belle's it just happened. He didn't sleep with her. How ever much he wanted to, he didn't take Belle that night, or any night since he told her that he would no longer be a customer. He was just...bored, for a lack of a better term. Things with Scarlett were perfect. Too perfect perhaps. He missed their conflicts. He missed the way her green eyes would snap when she was angry, and the way her tongue would lash out and try to inflict wounds that ended up being equivalent to a kitten scratching human flesh. It hurt for a second, but one quickly forgot it happened. He knew, as soon as one of the girls sprayed perfume on next to him, that Scarlett would be more than a little angry when he got home. He didn't stay at Belle's for long. He spent most of the night where he always was, at the old house.

He couldn't stay away from it. It was a gaping hole ready to swallow them whole. It was a dark reminder of something that he needed to deal with. It was mostly empty. Scarlett had sold the furniture to her old Carpetbagger friends. Except for one room. The room that he couldn't stay away from. He would just sit in there and imagine that she was there. Her laughter filled the walls, her footsteps were always just outside the door. He also spent a lot of time at the cemetery. Because they didn't know the gender of the unborn baby, Rhett and Scarlett just named it Rhett Jr. It had it's own stone at the cemetery, next to Bonnie's.

He noticed that the water had gotten lukewarm. The smell of perfume was off his body, so he climbed out and dressed in his nightclothes. Rhett climbed in bed behind Scarlett. He took her raven hair and wrapped it around his throat before planting kisses on the back of her neck.

"Not now Rhett, I'm trying to sleep." she said angrily, she hadn't forgiven him yet.

He chuckled softly, "Turn around Scarlett. Please."

She sighed but turned in his arms so she could face him. As soon as she did, he kissed her softly.

"I don't know where those lips have been Captain Butler." she said, but her voice was more amused.

"The only person they've touched for the last month is lying here with me." he told her, "Actually I lied, I have kissed Ella on the head when she goes to bed."

She could only laugh, "I don't believe you."

"I am fond of Ella, and she likes the affection I give her. She is so much like her mother."

"Not about that." she laughed again.

"I know, I love hearing you laugh." he told her and leaned in to kiss her again.

"You were at Belle's tonight?"

He sighed and lay on his back. Scarlett frowned and moved to lay her head on his strong chest, "I just want to know. I don't want to be in the dark about you and her." she frowned, "Not anymore."

"I did go to her place, but only for a drink, a smoke, and some card games. The smell was because one of the girls was walking passed me spraying on her perfume. I left right after and I went to..." he trailed off.

"Went where?" she inquired.

"It's not important." He didn't want to tell her, what if she thought that he was insane.

"It is to me."

"We'll discuss this later, my pet. Oh, next month, you and I are going on a second honeymoon."

"Where?" she asked, forgetting the earlier topic.

"To Europe."

"Oh where in Europe?" she asked, excited.

"London, Paris, Rome, Madrid. We'll go to Greece then, if you wish, we can go over to Asia and see Japan, we'll said from there to California, then take the train back this way."

"A trip around the world?" she asked, with wide eyes.

"Almost, we just won't be visiting South America, Australia, Africa, or Antarctica."

"Why not?" she pouted, she wanted to see everything.

"Well, we can see South America if you wish, but Africa is a poor place, you wouldn't like it. But I suppose we could go to Egypt and Jerusalem, so you can see the places from the Bible. Very historic."

She wrinkled her nose, "Lets just see Europe and Asia." she told him.

He laughed, knowing what put her off, in truth, he knew she wouldn't enjoy those places, unless she was a scholar. No, he would just take Wade there at a later time. He noticed her yawning and smiled.

"Go to sleep, my darling. I'll see you in the morning."

He slept with her in his arms, sighing contently with how things played out, he had his wife beside him and his family was under a simple, but elegant roof. Things were perfect.

Things were not perfect. Scarlett woke up running to the basin gagging. Rhett held her hair and patted her back trying to sooth his wife. He was going to call up Mammy, but Scarlett stopped him. She knew, or rather, she suspected what was wrong with her. While she was happy, she was also very worried. What if her body hadn't recovered from the fall? What if she had another accident. She couldn't bear losing another child. She refused to tell Rhett, until she was certain. He was planning their trip, suppose he canceled it because he could out that she was pregnant!

She scolded herself for being so selfish. She did want this child, but it couldn't have come at a worse time. Their marriage was still on the mend. What if he didn't want the child? What if it drove him to leave again? Her heart felt heavy at the thought. No! She told herself firmly, if anything he would stay for the baby. She sighed and put her hand over her stomach, a smile playing on her lips. She imagined the child. Would she be like Bonnie? Spirited and with Gerald O'Hara's blue eyes? Or would she have Scarlett's eyes? She secretly hoped it would be the former. Would he be like Rhett? Whatever it was, it would have black hair, this was obvious. She hoped the child would look like Ellen, or, if it was a boy, he would look like Rhett. She sighed happily as thoughts of a baby invaded her mind.

"Penny for your thoughts Mrs. Butler?" he asked from the doorway.

"I'm just thinking how nice it would be to have a baby." she told him.

He frowned, "Not now, of course. We are just fixing out marriage, which is complicated enough, throw a baby in the mix, it's a recipe for disaster." he shook his head, "I'd rather have you all to myself for now."

"But Rhett, we've made love many times since Bonnie's birthday. We haven't been careful."

"I have, my pet. I haven't erm...finished inside of you."

She frowned and started crying when her image was shattered. If this was true...then there couldn't be a baby inside of her. Her pretty baby, gone.

"What's wrong love? We'll have another baby, just, after we come from our trip we'll try. Ok?" he tried to get her to stop.

"Alright Rhett." she told him nodding, then she had to excuse herself to go vomit again.

As the day towards the honeymoon approached, Scarlett grew more and more certain that she was, indeed, pregnant. How, she didn't know. She could only recall one day that it could be, one day when she felt Rhett release inside of her. On Bonnie's birthday, neither of them had cared about the consequences of their actions. They just wanted to soothe their grief by using each other. As the days got closer, she started feeling sicker and sicker. She once had asked Mammy why they called it morning sickness.

"Because Mizz Scarlett, it done starts in de Mornin' and lasts all day." Mammy had told her.

Rhett, becoming ever concerned with Scarlett throwing up at the slightest smell of food, called for Dr. Mead. He was worried that something was wrong with her, something that she was hiding from him.

After an hour, the doctor walked out of the room. Rhett stood, worried about the time it took for the examination.

"Well?"

"Your wife if fine Captain Butler. But I'm afraid that the child is not."

"Child?"

"Yes, she is with child, now I have a few concerns because of her accident."

"What do you mean?"

"It makes it more complicated. She can't strain her body at all until this child is ready to come. She said you two were going to take a trip to Europe. I suggest you postpone it so she can rest."

Rhett could only nod. A child? How could she have gotten pregnant? He wracked his brain for something, one night where he wasn't careful. It came to him like a ton of bricks, the night of Bonnie's birthday. He hadn't cared about making sure they didn't conceive, and now...now she was pregnant. He sighed, he wasn't ready for another child. He couldn't fall in love with another child! The thought hurt him more than anything. For one, if he had another daughter, would she be like Bonnie? Would she have the same blue eyes and stubborn disposition? Or would it be a boy? He already had a boy, his...ward, for a lack of a better term. He couldn't be sure who's he was, either his or his cousin's. One thing was certain, Belle had given birth to a Butler boy, but without knowing which Butler sired him, Rhett offered to give money to make a living for him.

As the weeks passed, Rhett was cool towards Scarlett, he didn't mean to, in reality he was angry at himself for being so reckless, but he was taking it out on Scarlett. While he didn't neglect her, the lover like attitude he had been exhibiting the past few weeks was gone. He didn't take her breakfast in bed, or spend the day at her side, in fact, Scarlett compared this to how it was when their marriage was slowly diminishing.

After not seeing him for the entire day, Scarlett forced herself to get out of bed. Weeks of bed rest left her legs feeling like jelly. She had to focus all her energy to standing, then she had to make it to the door. She didn't put shoes on, because she preferred feeling the floor beneath her toes to be sure that she was walking right. She made her way down the hall then to the stairs, the ever daunting stairs. While they were not the same ones she fell down, fear still gripped her stomach. Would she make it down?

"Rhett?" she called, hoping he, and not Mammy, would hear and come rescue her.

Rhett was in his office when he heard her calling. He frowned, she sounded too close, her bedroom was at the back of the house. He stood and walked out of the room, through the house and to the stairs. To his utter horror, he saw Scarlett standing at the top gripping the banister. What's worse, she was swaying as if she was going to faint. Taking the stairs two at a time, Rhett made it to the top just as she collapsed. He sighed in relief that he made it in time. Then a thought crossed his head, was this God's way of offering him a second chance? He would think more on it later. For now, he carried Scarlett to her bedroom and called for Mammy.

"Rhett." her voice was soft, like a kitten's first mew.

"I'm here." he whispered from the chair he was occupying.

It was hours since she fainted, and Rhett feared the worst. Luckily she didn't seem to be having any signs of miscarrying. He only hoped it would remain that way.

"You're here." she said, smiling a bit in her half conscious state.

"I won't leave." he told her and stood to go over to her bedside.

He took her hand in his, worried about how hot her skin was.

"Are you warm?" he asked.

"No, I'm cold." she said and her body started shivering violently.

Rhett called for Mammy loudly and removed the blanket from her. When the woman waddled into the room, he told her to feel Scarlett's forehead. Mammy's eyes grew wide and she called down to the kitchen for a basin of cold water and a towel. When Prissy brought it up, Rhett and Mammy tried to cool Scarlett down.

"Lord almighty Mist'r Rhett, what happened?" Mammy asked.

"She was out of bed and she collapsed." Rhett croaked, he kept putting the cool water on Scarlett.

Dr. Mead was sent for right away, he arrived in time to see that Scarlett's fever was rising. He ordered Pork to drive to the ice house and get a block of ice. Then he told Mammy to get a bath of cold water for Scarlett. Mammy grumbled about putting Scarlett in cold water when she had a fever.

"Don't be a fool Mammy, this is a study that I just heard of, it's called an Ice Bath and it's supposed to help cool the body down."

When Pork arrived with the ice, Dr. Mead instructed him to break it up and to bring it to the room. Pork, being a man, was embarrassed to enter the room knowing that Scarlett was unclothed in there. He called for Rhett to get the bucket of ice and then hastily retreated downstairs.

She got better, her fever went down a bit, but she was still hot. Dr. Mead instructed Rhett to watch her temperature and call him if she got hot again. Rhett sighed and blamed himself, had he not been so cool towards her, she wouldn't have gotten out of bed. If he had only left her alone, she wouldn't even be in this situation. He was too selfish. He should have just left left after she refused to be his mistress. He should have just ignored her the day at the bazaar.

He sighed and went to pour himself some Brandy. He returned to their room and sat in the chair he was occupying. He allowed himself to get lost in thoughts of before his marriage fell apart. He drained the glass and slumped in his seat to fall asleep. He didn't dare lay in the bed, for fear that he would jostle Scarlett and cause her more pain than necessary.

After three days he still didn't leave the chair except to go to the bathroom. All the meals were brought up although the trays were untouched. Mammy was worried about Rhett, after Bonnie died, he almost drank himself to death. Now it seemed he was going to starve himself.

"Try to eat Mistr. Rhett." Mammy told him on the fifth day after Scarlett got sick.

"I can't Mammy, it makes me sick to think this could be my fault."

"How Mist'r Rhett?"

"Because, if I wasn't so indifferent to her after hearing of the baby, she wouldn't have gotten out of bed." he told her, tears in his eyes, "This is my fault again."

He looked so miserable that Mammy felt sorry for him. She shook her head.

"Lawd Mist. Rhett, Miss Scarlett done would have gotten out of bed 'ventuly." she told him.

After a week, there was no change in Scarlett. Her cheeks were pink from the fever and she would sometimes weakly call out. Usually it was to her mother, once to Bonnie.

"Ashley..." she called out suddenly.

Rhett looked at his wife and felt as if a knife had been plunged into his gut.

"Scarlett what is it?" he asked, trying to make his voice sound like Ashley's.

"Ashley, Melly...you...you love Melly..." she whispered, so low that Rhett had to lean in to catch her words, "Oh Ashley, you...never...loved me...it's...ok...I love Rhett."

Rhett smiled to himself, even when she was delirious with fever, she renounced Ashley Wilkes. Rhett was to second guess himself for staying there, for causing her more harm than good. Now, after hearing her words, he made the decision, he would stay there with her.

Another week passed and Scarlett hadn't spoken a word. Her fever was slowly cooling, which Dr. Mead assured Rhett was a good sign. Rhett's body was still from sleeping in the chair, Mammy had Pork move a sofa into Scarlett's room, so Rhett could sleep on that instead, but he refused to be comfortable until Scarlett was better.

Rhett was sleeping when he felt eyes on him. Two weeks and three days had passed. Rhett awoke and looked towards the bed, only to see two green eyes staring back at him.

"Rhett, why are you sleeping on the chair. Come to bed." Scarlett said frowning.

Rhett couldn't believe his eyes or his ears. Was she truly fine? Was she and the baby alive? Rhett, was instantly laying on the bed. He pulled Scarlett towards him, glad to feel her cool skin.

"How are you feeling my darling?"

"Fine, better than I have for days." she told him, confused, "I remember fainting."

"You did faint, that was two weeks ago."

He rang the bell to summon Mammy and told her to send Pork to go get Dr. Mead.

"How is she?" Rhett asked when Dr. Mead finished examining her.

"She's fine Captain Butler. Just keep her comfortable until that child is born." he instructed.


	5. Chapter 5

In the years that followed, Scarlett and Rhett's family grew. She had a girl, then two other boys, Melanie, Gerald, and Rhett II grew up having everything and fearing nothing. Scarlett often swelled with pride knowing that her children were living the life she wanted for them. Wade went off to be a lawyer, and married an Irish girl. They lived in Pitty's old house for a time, after Scarlett offered Beau a large sum of money to get him to sell it to her for Wade's birthday. Beau used the money to rebuild Twelve Oaks, the home of his father. Ella married Beau and became Mistress of Twelve Oaks, something that Scarlett had always wanted. Scarlett wasn't sure of the union at first, but Rhett assured her that Beau and Ella were alike enough. She was simple, she loved reading and ended up being more educated than her mother.

Melanie eventually grew to be like Scarlett herself. Her vibrant green eyes were so striking that she got any beau that she wanted. She eventually married a captain of a ship, who came from a pirate lineage. Scarlett and Rhett were thoroughly amused by the fact that her daughter even caught his eye, since he was twenty years her senior and she had her eye on another. Scarlett told her last daughter about her misadventures with Ashley and helped her daughter realize that she didn't love the man she thought she did and truly loved the Captain. Scarlett saved her daughter from years of heartache.

Gerald was so much like his namesake. He wanted Tara, so Scarlett bought it from her sisters. It was hard, almost impossible, since Suellen was stubborn about living in the home she was the mistress of for years. Will took them money and built his own farm in another county, saying "'T'would be better, a man ain't a man if he ain't the owner of his own farm." He had, for years, felt embarrassed that his wife was the partial owner of the land he was working on, instead of him. Scarlett then had to get Carreen's part. The youngest had been a year from giving her vows, when she met a man that got through her heartbreak and made her fall in love with him. They moved across the country to California, and Scarlett had to travel there, while pregnant, to get her sister to sign the plantation over. On the way there, the train she was riding in got derailed and she had a miscarriage in the middle of nowhere. Somehow, she kept the strength to continue to her destination, get the affair done, and get home. When she returned, with no bump under her skirts, Rhett realized what had happened and grew angry at himself, Scarlett, and Gerald.

"Was that damn piece of land worth your mother almost losing her life?" he had asked, drunk and angry.

"I didn't know!" Gerald insisted, since Scarlett did so well to hide it.

Rhett cursed his eldest (legitimate) son and threw the papers at him, ordering the sixteen year old out of his house. Scarlett flew into a rage at Rhett, and left with Gerald to Tara. She stayed for a year, in which Rhett had returned to Belle's to find that she was dying of an unknown disease that she had contracted a few years after he last saw her. Realizing that he was close to losing the two women that meant more to him that anything, Rhett went to Tara in pursuit of Scarlett. He found her there, thriving as usual. Even in her forties, Scarlett could do things that no sixteen year old could. They reconciled and she returned to her home in the outskirts of Atlanta. Gerald eventually married one of the girls from the county.

Rhett II went off to be a captain like his father. He was only married a month when he was killing in a boating accident during his honeymoon.

Scarlett lived until she was 65. On the eve of her 66th birthday, years of stress, two miscarriages, and working hard finally caught up with her. She suffered a stroke which caused her heart to give out. She died from heart failure. Rhett died the next day. Gerald often said that his father, "Just gave up when she stopped breathing. Her just stopped existing. It was like he was a puppet and mother was the one that made him work. When she was gone, he had no reason to work."

Melanie would say, "I think father was ready to die years before at some unknown time, he just kind of wanted to be done with life. I think he was just waiting for mother to die, so he would have a reason to die. He needs a reason to do everything and she was his reason for everything."

Wade would say, "Uncle Rhett gave up when Bonnie died, he wanted to take his own life, and when he left us, mother, Ella and me, I think he tried to do just that. I didn't know why he never did, for the longest time, now I do. It was mother. He couldn't be anywhere where mother was not. He would come see her a lot during the war, and even when he left, he returned to Atlanta a few years later. I think he was content because she was on the same state of existence as him. She would always be somewhere were he could find her, and he would have found her, even if he had to go to the ends of the earth. Now that she's not in this life, he has no reason to be. He can finally go join Bonnie after years of being separated from her."

Ella felt that Wade, herself, and her other half siblings were now on equal footing. They were all orphans now.


End file.
